Trust and Faith

"Earning" Trust?!?

You may have heard someone say that “People need to earn Trust”. But if you start out requiring someone to earn your Trust, at what point do you deem them to have earned it? Does it take a day, a month, a year or more? What timeframe must pass for a person to be deemed worthy of your Trust and what tasks must they accomplish in order to earn that Trust? Trust is a gift that you either give freely to others or you do not. Of course, you can reevaluate your “gift” if your Trust in them is ever violated, but entering a relationship by demanding that someone first “earn” your Trust before you give it could make for a long and bumpy trip.

Keep in in mind, however - that anytime you are the recipient of that precious gift of Trust . . . you must then work dilligently to keep earning it every day.trust and faith

Do not take lightly the responsibility that comes with the gift of Trust. The gifter of that Trust has placed confidence in you that carries with it a priceless piece of their heart and their soul. Mishandling of that gift and the violation of that trust has the potential of causing great damage to the one who placed that trust in you.trust and faith

The scars that remain in the wake of bitter lies and painful betrayal often cause emotional distress on levels unknown to those who have never suffered the anguish and lingering torment of violated trust. Don't lie! Don't cheat! Don't deceive!! Always exercise honesty when someone blesses you with the precious gift of their trust!! It really is THAT simple!!

So . . . 

. . . do you Trust your kids to drive your car? Do you Trust your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse on a boys or girls night out? What about a trip to Vegas (without you)? How strong is your confidence in your partner? You need a healthy dose of self-esteem to believe in those around you, and you need Trust for any relationship to be healthy … and happy.

Let’s say you’re waiting at home and your husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend is more than an hour late. What is your reaction when they finally walk through the door? Do you greet them with the open arms of a loving and welcome embrace, or do you light into them with an angry outburst of mistrust figuring they must have been somewhere they were not supposed to be doing something they were not supposed to be doing? Sadly, the latter is the more common reaction, when true love accompanied by a healthy level of confidence and Trust dictates that it should be the former. If you don’t Trust your partner then you’ll most likely spend that hour beating yourself up with Worry, Anger, and frustration just fuming over where they might be and what they might be doing. And when they finally do walk through the door you greet them with an unleashing of all that Anger and frustration and only alienate them and most likely initiate an argument or maybe a full-blown fight. Then what happens when you discover that it was just a flat tire or a traffic jam or maybe they got caught helping someone in need? How do you feel when you realize your anxiety was all in your head and you had nothing to Worry about in the first place? The solution can be found in the simple concept of Trust. If you love and Trust your partner then your whole Attitude changes and you’re no longer upset with them for being late, but very simply and compassionately concerned for their well-being.trust and faith

Of course, if you discover there was a foundation to support your fears and your partner misled you and they were somewhere they were not supposed to be doing something they were not supposed to be doing then you have to ask yourself if you really wish to be in a Relationship with that person in the first place.trust and faith

Trust is a “gift” you either give freely to another or not all. Just like the commitment you make in your heart is also a “gift”. You give someone a place in your heart because you care for them and in doing so you should also give them freely the “gift” of your Trust and that starts with The Benefit of The Doubt.

~ Benefit of The Doubt

My college baseball team had just played a doubleheader and I was out to dinner with my Mom and Dad and a few friends from school when I started giving my mother a hard time because she just sat there with her nose buried in a book all day and didn’t watch any of either game. I had jumped to a conclusion and made the assumption that since I never saw her paying attention that she must not have been at any time during either game the whole day. Once I was done berating and embarrassing my Mother in front of my friends she simply turned the tables and embarrassed me in return and in a much bigger way. She proceeded to recount for me every single play in which I’d been involved in every situation of both games. She told me what had happened, including what role I played and what I did right down to the count in each at-bat for both games of the doubleheader. Wow! I was blown away! I was now the goat at the table and my friends starting riding me for giving my Mom such a hard time while my Dad just sat there with a sly smile on his face. During the times of each game when I was idle all I saw was my Mother with her nose buried in the book. What I couldn’t realize was that it was during the times when I was “in action” and couldn’t be watching her that her nose came out of the book and she was watching me. She paid attention during the times that were important to her and I never doubted my Mother again.trust and faith

Jumping to conclusions, pointing fingers and assuming is not the way to begin any interaction with your family, friends and loved ones. Too often, we think we know what occurred so we jump right in with an accusatory finger pointing at whom we believe to be the guilty party and Blame them for what we believe they have done. But here is another place where you really need to exercise patience and understanding and give people the Benefit of The Doubt. It might also help to take another introspective look inside first as maybe the fault or Responsibility actually is yours to own but your pride and vanity again has you lashing out in an effort to get the focus off of you. Look first within and determine whether or not you have any Responsibility, then start by giving your partner the Benefit of The Doubt and begin a dialogue to discover the truth before making that initial assumption or jumping to any conclusions.trust and faith

A Few Great Quotes To Help Guide Your Journey

Click on any quote to open it up a little bigger